10.3 – Feral Dogs

This Friday afternoon, the Parks Department will be spraying pesticide in all public park areas, and in neighborhoods with dense foliage and predominantly Irish heritage. Night Vale is making a strong effort to reduce the mosquito population, and the dangerous diseases they carry. Last year, mosquitoes were responsible for outbreaks of West Nile, influenza, panache, elephantiasis, and Fanny Bryce Approximation Syndrome.

Please stay indoors from 1 PM Friday to 10 PM Saturday to avoid dermal contact with the pesticide, which has been known to cause skin abrasions, epilepsy, super-epilepsy, and organ inversion. The Parks Department also notes that the pesticide has a half-life of 2100 years, which means we’ll be safe from those annoying mosquitoes for a long time.

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