Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Ladies and gentlemen, the rumor mill is abuzz! We’ve had a celebrity sighting in our little burg! Old Woman Josie and one of her angel friends reportedly saw Rita Hayworth getting gas at the Fuel ’N’ Go over by the bowling alley! Rita Hayworth, ladies and gentlemen, right here in Night Vale. Can you believe it?
Old Woman Josie said Rita was looking a bit older, moderately obese, and considerably more Hispanic, but the angel assured her it was indeed Rita. He is an angel, after all. He would know, right? Wow. Rita Hayworth, right here in Night Vale. Just imagine.
We’ve had some power outages reported throughout Night Vale in the last couple of hours. If you’re experiencing one, well then you can’t hear me, can you? The Night Vale Municipal Utility Department said that they are still working to determine the cause of the outages, which are roving back and forth across town in a continuous motion, like a great pacing beast.
Those whose neighborhoods have been hit by the outages reported the shriek of hawks overhead, and that when the lights came back on, they felt that perhaps they were different people. Their memories and identities the same as always, but suddenly felt like costumes that didn’t fit exactly. As though it all were actually brand new to them. As though they had been switched out with someone who was exactly like them. As though all that was familiar would ever after be strange. Keep some flashlights with spare batteries and a childhood photo album by you tonight, just in case.