3.11 – Station Management

This segment has been brought to us by Big Rico’s Pizza.

Listeners, we are proud to have Big Rico’s as a sponsor of our show. You will not find a better pizza joint in all of Night Vale than Big Rico’s! Just the other night, I stopped by Big Rico’s. I was in the mood for a delicious pizza slice, and since Big Rico’s is the only pizza place in Night Vale that hasn’t burned to the ground in an unsolved arson case— and did I mention, has the best pizza in town— I ordered a single Rico’s slice with two authentic toppings.

And boy, was I satisfied. The flavor was scrumptious. The taste was also scrumptious! And it was warm, the pizza slice.

I have been told that even the hooded figures eat there. The waitstaff look like they avert their hollow gazes quite a bit! Even the City Council offers its ringing endorsement of Big Rico’s. All Night Vale citizens are mandated to eat at Big Rico’s once a week. It is a misdemeanor not to!

Big Rico’s Pizza. No one does a slice like Big Rico, folks. No one.

[Ominous rumbling intensifies. Cecil whispers.]

And now, sweet, sweet listeners… the weather.

[“Bill and Annie” by Chuck Brodsky.]

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12.3 – The Candidate

Breaking news; we’ve received confirmation from the Sheriff’s Secret Police that Hiram McDaniels was finally apprehended.

McDaniels has been on the lam since August. He was wanted on several counts of insurance fraud, falsifying identification papers, evading arrest, and assaulting a police vehicle with fire. McDaniels was spotted near his Earl Road apartment early Saturday morning by several alert neighbors. The neighbors said they were able to identify McDaniels because he matched police sketches of an eighteen-foot-tall five-headed dragon that had been posted across Night Vale. Fingerprints later confirmed that McDaniels was definitely a dragon.

Secret Police are still unsure of McDaniels’ motives for returning home, and, well, listeners, our station intern Stacy just handed me a photo of Hiram McDaniels. He’s a very dynamic looking dragon. The raw power. The intensity in those five faces, those many sets of blue and red and black and green and yellow eyes. I can certainly see how he charmed his way out of an arrest. He must never get tickets. What a guy.