This segment has been brought to us by Big Rico’s Pizza.
Listeners, we are proud to have Big Rico’s as a sponsor of our show. You will not find a better pizza joint in all of Night Vale than Big Rico’s! Just the other night, I stopped by Big Rico’s. I was in the mood for a delicious pizza slice, and since Big Rico’s is the only pizza place in Night Vale that hasn’t burned to the ground in an unsolved arson case— and did I mention, has the best pizza in town— I ordered a single Rico’s slice with two authentic toppings.
And boy, was I satisfied. The flavor was scrumptious. The taste was also scrumptious! And it was warm, the pizza slice.
I have been told that even the hooded figures eat there. The waitstaff look like they avert their hollow gazes quite a bit! Even the City Council offers its ringing endorsement of Big Rico’s. All Night Vale citizens are mandated to eat at Big Rico’s once a week. It is a misdemeanor not to!
Big Rico’s Pizza. No one does a slice like Big Rico, folks. No one.
[Ominous rumbling intensifies. Cecil whispers.]
And now, sweet, sweet listeners… the weather.
[“Bill and Annie” by Chuck Brodsky.]
The Night Vale Daily Journal has announced that, due to spiraling printing costs, they will be replacing the print edition of the paper with a special new Imagination Edition.
Editor Leann Hart explains, “Instead of confining our customers to the outdated modes of ink on paper, we are allowing them to choose the news that interests them by imagining whatever news they want. This will not only save costs, but will allow customers to experience the news as a full-color, full-motion experience taking place in a mental world that is tailored to their needs.” Subscription to this edition will be compulsory and automatic, and will cost a mere $60 a month.
A reminder to anyone looking for fun on a budget today in Night Vale: it’s free admission day at the Night Vale Museum Of Forbidden Technologies. As always, the museum features many fascinating permanent exhibits, including the cheap, pollution-free source of energy created by Nikola Tesla, multiple time machines, some of them not yet invented, and pocket calculators, which were outlawed by the City Council 22 years ago for undisclosed reasons. Along with that, there is a temporary exhibit displaying the many different exciting and extremely dangerous uses for lasers.
Be sure to splurge on the guidebook at the museum store, as the exhibits themselves are entirely shrouded with thick burlap at all times, and all explanatory plaques have been blacked out with permanent marker. The Museum of Forbidden Technologies: If You Don’t Know About It, We May Or May Not Have It.