An unsigned press release I found under my pillow this morning announces the following: there is a free party this Friday at the abandoned missile silo outside of town. The purpose of this party is to celebrate. There will be no sign, or music, but the party is inside the silo.
This party takes place at 3 a.m. and will be over at three oh five. It will be dark, both inside and outside the silo. Grope blindly towards happiness. Keep your mouth open and your teeth together to indicate you are at a party. You will hear noises, and later, you will not. This party will feature special guest Bon Jovi, although he does not yet know it. See you there.