Mayor Pamela Winchell issued the following statement today in regards to the increasing public support for her ouster and replacement by dashing inmate and blogger Hiram McDaniels. Winchell said, ‘The Mayor smells of olives. The Mayor burns like a match tip and casts her flickering light on the darkened path of fate. The Mayor does not have keys to the Stone Door. The Mayor is the Stone Door, and all that quivers behind it. The Mayor is forgiving. The Mayor makes no mistakes. The Mayor clutches tightly to your lungs, all six arms embracing your savory breaths. Let the Mayor out. Let the Mayor out. Let the Mayor out.’
There were no follow-up questions, but the press pool did let out a simultaneous ‘Ohmmmm’, as fire burst forth from the podium and the conference room ceiling flew away, revealing a midday night sky that had grown cancerous with blinking stars.
McDaniels is still in jail, awaiting trial for insurance fraud and evasion of arrest. He has previously announced interest in becoming mayor of Night Vale and is a thirty-six hundred pound five-headed dragon.