3.4 – Station Management

Here at the radio station, it’s contract negotiation season with the Station Management again. That’s always an interesting time. Now obviously, I’m not allowed to go into details, but negotiation is tricky when you’re never allowed to glimpse what you’re negotiating with. Station Management stays inside their office at all times, only communicating with us through sealed envelopes that are spat out from under the door like a sunflower shell through teeth. Then, in order to respond, you just kind of shout at the closed door and hope that Management hears.

Sometimes you can see movements through the frosted glass… large shapes shifting around, strange tendrils whipping through the air. Architecturally speaking, the apparent size of Management’s office does not physically make sense given the size of the building. But it’s hard to say, really, as no one has ever seen the actual office, only its translucence.

Look, I’ve probably said too much. I can see down the hall that an envelope just came flying out. I pray it’s not another HR re-training session in The Dark Box. But what can I say? I’m a reporter at heart; I can’t not report.

[Paper shuffling.]

Oh, my.

Let’s go to the seven-day outlook. Your daily shades of the sky forecast:

  • Monday – Turquoise.
  • Tuesday – Taupe.
  • Wednesday – Robin’s egg.
  • Thursday – Turquoise-taupe.
  • Friday – Coal dust.
  • Saturday – Coal dust with chances of indigo in the late afternoon.
  • Sunday – Void.
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11.4 – Wheat & Wheat By-Products

The City Council today issued a strong warning against the manufacture and sale of discount bloodstones. They say that these bloodstones of inferior design and construction have the potential to cause major accidents in even common day-to-day chanting rituals.

These accidents have included in just the past few months: locust swarms, pus tornados, and the creation and subsequent obliteration of a mirror version of Night Vale, forcing all of us to watch our identical counterparts perish, and thus confront the inevitability of our own futures.

Anyone caught selling these bloodstones will be put into the Dark Box, pending erasure from recorded history.

The lesser charge of buying or possessing them will be met with mere summary execution.

Critics charge that the City Council is lying about all of this, due to the fact that the council owns the only certified bloodstone factory in town. But the Council has vehemently denied this charge by gibbering, howling, and knocking over microphones.