15.8 – Street Cleaning Day

From time to time, listeners, I like to bring a little education to our show. Throw out some interesting facts or mind fuel. Today I’d like to share some fascinating facts about clouds. Clouds are made up of [BEEP]. Rain clouds are formed when [BEEP] air. When the density of the humid air, a.k.a. the cloud, becomes [BEEP], that’s when it rains. Lightning is [BEEP]. And it’s important to [BEEP] can kill you, or at least cause you a great deal of body-altering pain and regret. But take some time to stop and look at the clouds. They are beautiful, wondrous creations!

Wait. I’ve just been handed a piece of red paper by one of the Sheriff’s Secret Police officers.

[whispering] I can tell that’s what he was because of his short cape, blow dart chest belt, and tight leather balaclava.

Dear listeners, I’ve been told to inform you that you are to stop looking at the clouds immediately. Stop knowing about the clouds. Intern Stacy tells me in my headset here that they’ve also been censoring my broadcast. Well, I back our public protectors, and if they say to stop knowing about whatever it was was talking about, then I’ll stop knowing about it. Let’s go now to the sounds of predatory birds.

[cawing, screeching, hooting]

17.12 – Valentine

Ladies and gentlemen, emergency workers report that they have reached Old Town Night Vale, and further report that it is a scene out of a nightmare, assuming you have had the usual nightmare in which Old Town received minor structural damage and debris, with no serious injuries.

Emergency workers report that they have treated those who need treating, and have cleared away what needed clearing away. They report that the usual stress of day-to-day life was worse, but now it seems better, and later, they project, it will be worse again. Emergency workers report that they are feeling good about stuff in general, for once. Emergency workers report that they are smiling, and they don’t even know why! Emergency workers report a cloud. Just that, a cloud. And isn’t it funny how we often don’t notice little things like that, they report.

Well, listeners. It seems perhaps that we have come through this day and reached some other side. Not unaffected, no, not unchanged, but here. After all, this Valentine’s Day, as all Valentine’s Days, will not succeed in bringing our city down. This Valentine’s Day, as all Valentine’s Days, will soon recede into painful memory, fading with time until another foul Valentine’s Day is upon us again. Stay tuned next for me saying ‘Good night, Night Vale. Good night.’

Good night, Night Vale. Good night.