We have a very unexpected treat today, dear listeners: live, in the studio, we have one of the mysterious hooded figures often seen around town. We did not actually invite him here, he just was waiting for us when we unlocked the studio this morning. He has not moved nor spoken since then, and I’ll be honest, I am only guessing that he is a “he,” because physical attributes are hard to determine under these robes, and the face is entirely hidden in shadow as empty and as black as the void of space.
But hey, we’re doing radio— he’s in a radio station— let’s see if we can get an interview. Mr. Hooded Figure, how are you doing today?
[Quiet interference.]
Okay. Care to comment on the recent expansion of the forbidden dog park?
[Louder interference.]
Any comments at all? Anything you’d like to tell the ordinary folk of Night Vale about your organization?
[Interference intensifies further.]
Listeners, I’m sure you can hear this. It’s not a problem with your radio or our transmitters. The hooded figure is making those noises in our studio.
[Cecil speaks loudly over interference.]
It’s pretty deafening, actually. All right… I don’t think he’s going to stop, and he’s started to levitate, so… let’s go to the weather.
[“Closer” by The Tiny.]
Night Vale Public Library 